Why You Should Eat Your Cake Instead of Having It

👋🏼 ASK ANNA

Dear Biddies,

Your life looks better when you zoom out. So do cities, people, and the men you fall in love with at first sight, only to realize your first sight might have been a mirage instead of a reality. When I was thirteen, my desktop wallpaper was a photo of New York City’s skyline at night. I used to look at this photo and pretend it was the view outside of my window instead of the asphalt parking lot of our working class neighborhood that my actual bedroom looked out onto. And, while the photo would occasionally change depending on if I found an edit I liked better, the skyline would not - always of the Brooklyn Bridge over the East River as it transported you into Manhattan.

The immutable nature of the photo acquiescing to my imagination’s ability to breathe life into the kind of person I would be if I lived in New York City, and how unstuck I would feel if I was on the Brooklyn Bridge traveling towards an apartment that overlooked the glimmering city lights. My favorite view of the city that wasn’t actually exclusively of the city, but of the bridge going towards the city. In choosing this view, I suppose I chose to be in a constant state of arriving rather than having arrived, because it’s only after you’ve arrived somewhere and stayed for a while do you notice the details, and as they say, the devil and all its’ fuckery are in the damn details.

Five years later and a freshman at NYU, I learned that moving to New York City does not fix your life and that in a city of seemingly infinite possibility, it was also possible to feel infinitely alone. To see ugliness where I had once imagined only beauty existed. I spent the next eleven years learning that to live in New York City also means to struggle in New York City, whether the struggle was found in trying to find a boyfriend, trying to find a job, or trying to find a reservation at that place that sells ramen burgers (shout-out to all the millennials who remember the Frankenstein food craze of the 2010s when we were collectively obsessed with marrying two foods that should have never even gone on a first date).

I never ended up finding a ramen burger (I heard they were underwhelming, anyways), but I did find that it’s possible to love something even after seeing its’ ugliness. That the devil may be in the details, but the details are what gives an outline its’ story. The cracks in the pavement only exist because the pavement was used for its’ purpose, and perfect people are boring because perfect people don’t exist despite what your social media feed may indicate. My beloved New York City skyline would look a lot different without the details, and none of you would be here reading this without everything that didn’t work out for me in my twenties.

As you head into the weekend, I hope you remember to embrace it all - the zoomed out and the zoomed in versions of your life. Sometimes we all need a reminder that our lives are not as ugly as the details would have us believe (imagine your life from an outsiders’ perspective if they were scrolling through the highlight reel of your social media), and other times, we need to be reminded that the imperfections exist to remind us that we are alive. Your birthday cake may be too pretty to eat, but you should eat it anyways, because it’s cake after all, and it’s better to be ugly in your stomach than beautifully untouched while rotting on the counter.

There is a Japanese art form called “Kintsugi”, which involves repairing broken ceramics by joining the pieces together with lacquer and gold powder. Rather than attempting to hide the cracks, Kintsugi aims to emphasize them, believing that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken and then repaired. People are a lot like that - what is broken can be repaired, and in the reparation is born a story more worthy of telling than the story of a perfection that perhaps never existed anyways.

With love and aggression,
— anna

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💄 BEAUTY BANTER

• Skin Banter: 

  

  Because your skin deserves to shine brighter than the future you dreamed of with Chad. I used to think sunscreen was just a necessary evil—chalky, greasy, and definitely not cute. But then I found this little miracle: Supergoop! Glow Stick SPF 50, and suddenly sun protection became my favorite part of my routine. It glides on like a silky face oil, but instead of leaving me slick and shiny, it gives me this gorgeous, dewy glow—like I’ve been kissed by the sun, not scorched by it. I swipe it over my cheekbones, nose, even my collarbones when I’m feeling extra, and every time someone asks what highlighter I’m wearing. Joke’s on them—it’s sunscreen. Plus, it fits in every bag I own, so I can reapply without a mirror, without a mess, and without any excuses. It’s my glow-up in a stick—and honestly, I’ll never go back.

• Make-Up Banter: 

  

  This isn’t foundation—it’s delusion in a bottle, and I’m thriving. I put on Giorgio Armani’s Luminous Silk Foundation and immediately felt like I should be sipping champagne on a private jet, even though I’m just heading to Target in sweatpants. One pump and suddenly I have main character energy. Two pumps? I’m dating a European race car driver and my pores have filed for divorce. It glides on like a second skin—if your second skin was spun from angel whispers and filtered moonlight. It’s smooth, it’s luminous, it’s what I imagine rich people’s complexions look like naturally (but like, they don’t—this is it, this is the cheat code). This foundation doesn’t cover flaws. It erases your past. Missed a deadline? Late on rent? Haven’t had a green vegetable in a week? Nobody will know. Your skin is out here living its best, airbrushed life—and suddenly, so are you. Caution: May cause spontaneous mirror flirting and overconfidence in group chats. Use responsibly.

• Hair Banter

  

  This isn’t hair care. It’s hair therapy, spiritual cleansing, and a restraining order against frizz—all in one neon green bottle. I paid $6 for Garnier Fructis’ Sleek & Shine Smooth Leave-In Conditioning Cream and now my hair thinks it’s too good to talk to me. I applied one dollop—ONE—and my strands immediately laid down like they had a 401(k) and inner peace. We're talking high-gloss, zero-frizz, "I just got a blowout in a movie montage" kind of energy. It smells like a tropical fruit bowl went to finishing school, and honestly, I’m not mad about it. This stuff works so hard, I’d trust it to co-parent my future children. Rain? Humidity? The chaotic evil that is my flat iron technique? Irrelevant. My hair said, “We don’t know her.” And the price?? Are you kidding me?? Luxury who? I’m giving Old Money smoothness on a "forgot I even added this to my cart" budget. This is my Roman Empire. I think about it every time I touch my head. Buy it. Use it. Watch your hair become the main character in a shampoo commercial set to dramatic music. You're welcome.

🗞️ ANYTHING BUT POLITICS BANTER

The headlines you may have missed while politics dominated the headlines.

1. ‘There’ve Been Many Times I Thought Hollywood Was Done With Me’: For a while, Minka Kelly thought the industry had moved on—like a boyfriend who forgot to break up with you. Calls stopped coming. Scripts dried up. She figured maybe the industry moved on—and left her in “that girl from Friday Night Lights” limbo. But now she’s 44, starring in Ransom Canyon, filming in the same city where her childhood unraveled—and reclaiming it like a damn pro. This isn’t a comeback. It’s a chapter she wrote in her own handwriting. One where the ingénue grew up, got honest, and made peace with the cracks in her own pavement. Because sometimes, the industry doesn’t need to remember you. Sometimes, you just need to remember you were never gone.

2. Luigi Mangione indicted on federal charges for CEO killing: Luigi Mangione, 26, has been indicted on federal charges for the December 2024 killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson in Manhattan. Facing charges of murder with a firearm and stalking, Mangione could receive the death penalty. Surveillance footage shows a masked assailant shooting Thompson, with bullets marked "delay," "deny," and "depose," referencing insurance claim denials. Mangione, arrested in Pennsylvania, was found with a manifesto and a 3D-printed firearm. His case has sparked debates about healthcare access, and supporters have rallied behind him. Mangione remains in federal custody.

3. Dozens searched for a missing 2-year-old in the Arizona desert. Buford the dog was the real hero.: A heartwarming rescue unfolded in Seligman, Arizona, when 2-year-old Boden Allen, missing for 16 hours, was found seven miles from home by a rancher's dog named Buford. The toddler had wandered off on April 14, prompting a 40-person search. Buford, an Anatolian Pyrenees, discovered Boden under a tree, likely protecting him overnight in the wilderness where mountain lions had been spotted. Rancher Scotty Dunton, who owns Buford, expressed relief upon finding Boden "upset but in good shape," marveling at the child's resilience and his dog's heroic actions.

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